If We Were Having Coffee, I’d Tell You…

Back East Blonde
This is a post I’ve seen other bloggers do (most recently, Samantha) and I always love reading them.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you…that N borrows my Tweezerman tweezers (those suckers are stupid expensive) and when I caught him using them to pick at an ingrown beard hair (ew), he said “I thought it’s all what’s mine is yours and stuff” to which I replied “what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is also mine”. I’m the nicest.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you…at some point during the conversation “oh my god, you have to see this picture I took of Archie sleeping last night”. And you’d probably  be like, “No, I’m good. I saw 15 of those last time we had coffee, and have you seen your Instagram?” But if you were a really good friend, you’d humor me.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you…that at the suggestion of several readers following this post, I picked up Attachments by Rainbow Rowell at Barnes and Noble. The real book version. I finished it and it was a perfect recommendation. Then I’d offer to loan you my copy. I’d also tell you that sometimes I feel like I’m doing real bookstores a favor when I buy a book in person, in an actual store. It’s like, you’re welcome for not ordering this on Amazon.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you…that now I need another book recommendation. Let’s make it another happy one.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you…I’ve been having a case of good weather guilt. Sure, it’s 68 and sunny outside, but what if I still want to stay inside and read and binge watch Netflix? That’s still allowed, right?

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you…that chopping a particularly juicy jalapeno and then later picking your nose is not advisable. 

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you…I had worn my hair down every day since I cut it, until last week. That’s when I discovered that my new short do could be the cutest low messy pony. Double points for taking two seconds to do.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you…that big changes are coming in my life. I’m not ready. Am I? Then I might laugh cry and make a joke at my own expense to try to make myself feel better. It wouldn’t work.

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This Looks Bad On Me



This is what I wore yesterday. I sauntered around all day, thinking I looked pretty put together. I was proud of myself. I was confident. So when N came home, I dragged him outside for a photo or two (or 200). Spring is here! The sun stays up long enough to capture the occasional outfit photo in flattering lighting! Excited about having something fairly easy to post today (at the time, I just wasn’t in the write a novel of a blog post type mood), we came inside.

the unflattering photo

Post dinner, I unloaded my SD card onto my computer. Ready to see something almost fashion blogger worthy (in the low-budget, regular girl kind of way), what stared back at me was, um, disheartening. Yeah, we’ll go with that. Disheartening.

You see, I have this polka dot top that I feel oh-so-trendy in. It’s made of that popular but gross polyester material that Forever 21 basically bleeds. That stuff that makes me sweat like it’s mid-July no matter what time of year it is (overshare? don’t care). You know the stuff I’m talking about. So anyway, I always thought this top looked decent on me. That was, until I saw this photo (and the 174 other full body shots that I forced N to suffer through).

I look positively….pregnant.

This top is so ridiculously unflattering that it shocks me that it’s taken me so long to notice. And I’d venture to say that plenty of my clothes are like this. Like many of us, I get caught up in the trends and what’s popular and completely forget what looks good on my body. Under that flowy top, I don’t look pregnant (well, except after splitting a large pizza with N). I mean, take my word for that. Or don’t.

What I learned is this: I need someone brutally honest to clothes shop with me. I need an occasional “that top adds 10 pounds” or “you look skinny in that” or “the tiny pockets on those jeans are weirdly high up and are doing terrible things to your rear end”. God bless N but the guy is too nice. I get a whole bunch of “you look beautiful no matter what”s, to which I roll my eyes while my heart smiles. He is sweet but he is not helpful.

It also occurred to me that some trends should just be ignored. Sometimes you just have to look a trend in the face and say “hell no, that would look effing terrible on me.” Some trends are easy to push aside. The first time I saw a crop top in a store, I had a good chuckle while the Lizzie McGuire cartoon character on my shoulder sassed “ohhhh hellll no”. It’s the sneaky, seemingly universal trends like the flowy, crappy polyester tops that trick us. Screw you Lauren Conrad (who made this monstrosity). Who am I kidding? I’ll be back at Kohl’s next time we get another 20% off in the mail.

I don’t know where I’m going with this but just know that if you want to see how you really look in something, pretend to be a fashion blogger for 10 minutes. I’m a jeans and t-shirts kind of girl. Maybe I should find a really well cut t-shirt and stick to that. Maybe even *gasp* learn how to accessorize.

Welp, at least my hair looked decent. And hey, if you are pregnant, here’s an outfit idea!

I think that’s my cue to go.

Wavy Bob Hairstyle

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p.s. Note to Self: If you are going to pretend to be a fashion blogger, It’d be good to not be covered in dog hair in your photos, Nadine. Get it together.

That’s how you got here?!

 

Periodically, I like to look through the search terms in Google Analytics to see how people got to my blog. It’s always good for a laugh. Maybe I’m missing how Google works but, how did these search terms even lead people to my blog? Whatever, it’s worth it for the entertainment value. Some of them were too good not to share. Enjoy.

emma stone laughing

taza and husband hate – Hate? More like love.

delta gamma dirty song – Alright, alright, you came to the right place.

how to not have a pinterest wedding – If only more people were googling this. Pinterest ruined weddings, after all.

lds modest fashion blog – There are generally a lot of searches for “mormon” and “lds” thrown in there. Maybe it’s because of this post?

sexy ass over 30 years old – Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let’s not jump the gun here. I’ll take the first half but reminder, I’m 26.

are people cooler than me? – Yes. And here are 10 People Who Are Cooler than Me.

back east blonde pregnant – Is my winter weight showing? I need it for warmth (at least that’s what I tell myself). I’m pregnant with a food baby made of pizza.

insults for bitches who want to take my man – Hellz to the yeah. Except I’m really not good at this kind of stuff.

Nadine in yoga pants – Oooh flattering. I think N would like to see Nadine in something other than yoga pants.

leggings are not pantsI AGREE.

howgrow boob – lolz

fat golden retriever cartoon – Ahem, Archie is at a perfectly reasonable weight. Rude. Although I did get a cartoon made of him once.

neighbor hogs the laundry – I am that neighbor. I get the dirty looks. Whoops.

should i leave my husband to move to California – Um. How about no? Well there’s something N never has to worry about. Here’s why I left California and here are some reasons I still don’t miss California.

Something so dirty I can’t even type it here. I don’t want to get blocked from your work computer or anything. Use your imagination.

pinterest is ruining my life – You know that what you do on the internet is voluntary right? See that little “x” in the corner of the screen? Or a little red dot? Click that.

my mom without a shirt – Get your ass to a therapist. NOW.

what if a mormon missionary comments on how beautiful you are – I hear they’re nice boys. Maybe a thank you?

should i date a guy i work with? – It worked out for me. What’s the worst that can happen? Oh, you could break up and then every day, 40 hours a week, would be super awkward. It’s a coin toss. But in case you’re still debating it, here are 7 reasons you should date a guy from work.

What’s the funniest search term your blog has ever gotten?

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The In-Between Phase is a gift. {Don’t wish it away.}



Today I’m thrilled to introduce Steph from The Vibrant Living Project. Steph is a health coach, yoga lover, and artist. Her heart-felt, thought provoking posts have been comforting to me, especially lately. I’ll let her take it from here…

quieter you become

When I graduated from college, all I could think was “what now?” I didn’t have a job, I was moving back home and I was slightly panicked. I wanted to be independent, and get started with my ‘real life’ I just didn’t know how to begin.

I was lost because I had graduated with honors, majoring in a field that wasn’t even slightly interesting to me. I felt the pressure of expectations–my own and other’s–and wasn’t sure how to handle it. I had thoughts like: shouldn’t I be ready to take on the world? I had made all of the right moves, but still wasn’t ready to move forward.

So instead of jumping into the rat race, I took the summer off. It was a slacker move, but I loved every minute of it. I rented a beach house with some friends from college (okay it was really a trailer without wheels) and we crammed 5 girls into 2 bedrooms. We all got jobs as cocktail waitresses at a popular spot and had the time of our lives–I gained 10 pounds to prove it.

My days were filled with beach time, rehashing the previous night over fried egg sandwiches and afternoon naps. Each night of drink slinging was more fun than the next. It was the perfect way to extend my college experience: simple and fun.

Looking back, I realize why I felt so stuck after graduating college: I needed to pause before transitioning to the next step. I needed to learn how to let go of my old life, and catch my breath so I could grab hold of a new one.

Late night heart-to-hearts with my friends made me realize I wasn’t alone in my confusion; they, too, felt overwhelmed and unsure of how to proceed. We were all stuck in the in-between. This phase was a process of learning how to become who we were meant to be.

The ironic part is that in the stillness, we learn to move forward. It’s where we transition from who we are to who we are becoming: student to adult, being solo to a being a part of a couple, single to married, career woman to mother. Our subconscious speaks to us and tells us what we need to remember in order to move ahead.

This transitional phase at the beach house was an amazing gift–among the late nights, deep talks and beer parties, I stood still long enough to dream about the life I really wanted, not just the one that I was expected to live. Conversations with friends and connecting through our fear inspired me to push through and get moving.

Now when I encounter an in-between time, I remind myself that the in-between is a phase of it’s own that ushers us along. Beautiful creatures don’t often arrive with their dazzling traits; the butterfly and the bird struggle in their own in-between, to strengthen the wings that carry them to their next destination. It reminds me that I am often finding my wings, too.

Nadine here – Isn’t she a phenomenal writer? Are you ready to get started? Don’t forget to visit Steph at The Vibrant Living Project.

10 Reasons to Love Lena Dunham

Courtesy of V Magazine, shot by Terry Richardson

Courtesy of V Magazine, shot by Terry Richardson

1. Girls. She wrote, acted, and directed the gloriousness that is Girls. I realize this is a polarizing TV show and people either love it or hate it but I stand firmly on the side of love. Sure, I may not live in Brooklyn, I don’t take baths with my friends, and I’ve never once pondered a pixie cut, but the feelings of the twentysomething female experience seem to be semi-universal. We all have a friend like Marnie and many of us have a Jessa too.

Plus, Hannah Horvath proved that I’m not the only one who has thought about saying this to my parents:

lena dunham gif

2. Hollywood is filled with carbon copies of the current “it girl”. Lena isn’t that. She isn’t afraid to be her authentic self. That’s certainly rare in Hollywood, but it’s also rare in life. It’s probably what I admire her for the most.

3. She’s friends with everybody. I kind of thought she’d think she was too cool to be buddies with Taylor Swift but turns out, she loves her.

taylor swift and lena dunham

She recently said, about Taylor: “She helps me be stronger and make better decisions.”

4. She’s made feminism cool to a whole new generation. I’m not saying feminism was ever not cool but she’s certainly helped to bring it to the attention of twenty-something women.  Hell yes I want to make exactly the same amount of money as a man. And yes, I want the same opportunities as a man. Feminism = equality.

5. Scrolling through her twitter feed is the fastest way to snarf your coffee and fall out of your desk chair in a fit of giggles.

Lena Dunham Tweets

6. She’s naked. A lot. I swear every time I’m watching the show and N walks in, only to find Lena Dunham naked on-screen again, he wonders aloud “why is she naked so much?”

Here’s what Lena has to say about why she’s naked on the show so often:

“It’s because it’s a realistic expression of what it’s like to be alive, I think, and I totally get it,” said Dunham. “If you are not into me, that’s your problem, and you are going to have to kind of work that out with whatever professionals you’ve hired.”

I kind of love that Lena is naked so much. I honestly think seeing her naked on Girls was the first time I saw a woman who wasn’t a model or model-like naked on a TV screen. She has bumps and lumps and a little extra chunk there? Me too. It felt normal and open and wonderful.

7. She is as obsessed with her dog Lamby as I am with Archie. Proof.

8. She articulates herself in an intelligent way about challenging subjects. That is something to admire.

9. She supports marriage equality and uses her platform to bring attention to its importance.

Lena Dunham Marriage Equality

10. She’s not a mean girl. She recently said this, in an interview with Glamour magazine:

“We live in a society that wants to pit women against each other, and it’s our job to resist the tyranny of that.”

So basically, I love Lena. Season 4 of Girls doesn’t come out until 2015 and I already can’t wait.

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